Saturday, July 30, 2011

fresh familiar things

this past week i had the good fortune to be in the company of three (3)  long time friends rarely seen and in the basement headquarters of one (1) austin jazz haunt, not visited in many years.  i encounter that "thing-" where experience yields itself exactly as one remembers, but nevertheless changed in light of time and circumstance.  i encounter the oh yeahs and the oh yeahs.....hugs and are you still working there and remember when that thing and really, you're not carding me anymore at this place?  i remembered to love past lives, not just in theory or for experiences learned, but because of experiencing those people and those places alive, thriving, so different, and so exactly the same.

i also, through these interactions, smushed energy with an awesome, gorgeous, well tattooed waitress named celeste, a date (the fruit) stuffed with gorgonzola cheese, a walnut, and drizzled with wildflower honey, a dear man, robert davis who i had a special relationship with and will always hold a glass to, and conversation that left me feeling both comforted, and glad to leave.

i can love some of the past in my present, and i'm glad to leave some of my present in my past.

Thursday, July 28, 2011


A position of strength

Let your feelings be your choice. There’s no need for the twists and turns of circumstance to hold your feelings hostage.
In each moment, let your outlook be determined by your highest expectations. Observe the world from a positive perspective, and you’ll see the most valuable possibilities.
You never have to be dismayed in an attempt to be realistic. Though reality is what it is, you always have the choice of what to make of it.
It is easy to think you need to feel sorry for yourself. It is far better, though, to avoid the waste of time and energy that your self-pity would produce.
Your feelings are powerful, and they are yours to choose. Whatever may happen, you always have the option of dealing with it from a position of strength.
In every challenge there is great potential value. Choose to feel powerful and positive, and that value is yours to create.
— Ralph Marston

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Monday, July 18, 2011

(dolce vita)

sunday was a big day for me.  i spent the morning folding origami swans in preparation for a birthday party, i accepted an invite to dolce vita in hyde park to meet up with a visiting friend despite a very strong desire not to leave the house. as it turns out, a large amount of relief and laughter can come when you least expect it. into the evening i played model in a photo shoot for an up and coming austin photog friend that is sure to be the next big thing with his new show. and, unfortunately, disappointment struck just before bed, which is always the most inopportune time for disappointment, i believe. i suppose disappointment arises from holding on to expectation.  but, we all have to hope for something, right? perhaps it would be helpful to take advantage of disappointment and let down as highlighters of other elements to be thankful for. disappointment couldn't take away the beautiful swans i made or bright faces over perfect cups of coffee, or giggly picture posing with vials of kool-aid.

Monday, July 11, 2011


An analogy for bodhichitta is the rawness of a broken heart. Sometimes this broken heart gives birth to anxiety and panic, sometimes to anger, resentment, and blame. But under the hardness of that armor there is the tenderness of genuine sadness. This is our link with all those who have ever loved. This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when we’re arrogant and soften us when we are unkind. It awakens us when we prefer to sleep and pierces through our indifference. This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all.
- Pema Chodron -

Monday, July 4, 2011

destination : emerald city (follow me?)

from the beginning to the middle of july, i think about all thirty-one flavors of independence. i think about choices and the courage to make choices and stick with them.  i think on the nature of change and how the promise of a desired outcome can sometimes be worth the ordeals and challenges of a reconstruction.  i think about gatherings with friends and family because i like to remember that being independent doesn't mean having to be alone.

may your fourth of july and bastille day be fierce and sparkly.